Dead Man’s Harem. Since I can’t kill myself I’ll find other ways to be happy Vol 00 Chp 23

Dumb Fat Cow

Just like with swords, he had next to zero experience with magic either, besides the two minute basic lesson that the madame gave him this morning during breakfast. He was barely paying attention too, with the madame and her slave girl both shaking their asses in front of his face while they cooked.

Devon cracked a smile with his chapped lips and swollen eyes, laughing internally at the absurdity of this whole situation. Even while laying here half dead, he was curious, just a little curious, about how magic worked in this world, and how his body could handle magic.

The word left his mouth, and the small ovular stone shook while levitating a few centimeters above his palm.

And then, suddenly, just like the toast from breakfast this morning, it shot off like a bullet in a chaotic arc across the field. Landing on the grass harmlessly, the minotaur didn’t even take notice.

But Devon learned a bit from that interaction, just based on his own intuition. Instead of a pebble, what if he took a handful of air and applied the same principle?

Visualizing a block of air in his hand, Devon grasped it and uttered the command. “Rise.”

A gust of wind blew from his hand towards the minotaur’s back, just as Devon visualized in his head. He needed to pretend that the block of air was a real object, that could be seen and touched for this to work.


A small puff of wind hit the back of the minotaur demon, and it looked back quizzically, this time finally noticing Devon twitching on the ground and pulling himself upright.

Thumping across the field, the minotaur arrived right in front of Devon, who just stood up. Face to face with the heavily breathing minotaur demon, which had pectoral muscles the size of his entire shoulder length, Devon didn’t cower. He didn’t feel afraid at all. In fact, he broke into a smile, his lips cracked and bloody.

“Goooooooo!” the minotaur wailed, striking Devon with a heavy punch straight in his stomach, which caused the human to stumble backwards but otherwise stay upright.

“That’s right,” Devon said while maintaining a quivering smile through the pain. “You can hurt me, but you can’t kill me. I can’t even kill myself!”

“I’m a dead man walking,” Devon laughed, picking up his moonlight longsword from the side of a soldier’s corpse and swinging it at the minotaur.

The minotaur easily blocked the feeble sword swing powered by Devon’s horrible swordsmanship, lowered his head and charged, puncturing Devon’s stomach with his bull horn. The bull kept running forward and flipped Devon up into the air, as his guts sprayed everywhere for a brief moment before the wound began to close itself.

Devon felt pain for a moment, and then it stopped just like that other time when he cut his own stomach open with a self inflicted sword wound. He knew that the pain would come back later, but for now…

“That’s right, you stupid little cow, you can’t do shit against me,” Devon shouted, taunting the minotaur as he fell from the sky and landed onto the ground with a spine crunching splat.

“Guuuuuuuuuuuu!” the minotaur bellowed angrily, attacking Devon again.

Devon continued to taunt, get hurt, heal, and taunt the minotaur in an endless cycle that lasted for so long that his only sense of time was the sun beginning to cross over to the other side, declaring that it was afternoon.

Every time the minotaur demon began to tire, Devon grabbed his moonlight longsword and slashed at it. And when the minotaur got smart enough to throw his longsword several meters to the side, Devon went and retrieved it, and continued the cycle.

“We can do this all day, you dumb cow,” Devon sneered, throwing his hands to the side to look intimidating. He didn’t really know what he was doing, but the adrenaline coursing through his veins and his impervious nature made him shout and jeer like a gorilla beating its chest.

Another forty minutes or so of this dance passed, and the minotaur was still not significantly hurt from any of the moonlight steel sword blows. However, it was getting incredibly frustrated and agitated at this fly that it could not squish no matter what it tried to do.

Finally, after a very long tussle, the minotaur demon gave up and began to retreat.

Devon laughed and shouted at it tauntingly. “That’s right, you dumb fat cow! Run away! You know you can’t beat me, hahahaha!”


Joshua Tal, Nerow, Bartsi, thank youuuuuuuu!!!!! also thank you Matthew Ricketts for the donation <3

Dead Man’s Harem. Since I can’t kill myself, I’ll find other ways to be happy

Dead Man’s Harem. Since I can’t kill myself, I’ll find other ways to be happy

Score 7.0
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Artist: Released: 2019
After death, Devon is given the second chance he never wanted. He decides to make the most out of his new life, exploring all that life in this new world has to offer, whether that be adventuring or soliciting elf girl prostitutes.



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